About You…

I don’t know what it was about you. But something about you made me change to, do better. But without you I knew that I had to rearrange my game, live without the shame. Just to make a difference where I was sheltered. And there is no limit to just how many of these I could try and write to remedy all of the pain I’ve felt. All I see in my eyes is all of the shame I’m dealt. There is no way to simply ease the burden I’ve kept. Thinking of all of the memories hoping they mean more than just a reflective “I remember these”. That’s all that we ever have from most of these. Knowing I should be more, while understanding that no amount of gain could ever even out the score. From the losses I had and smiles that I’ll never get back. But as I said. It was something about you. About you that made me question what should I do? Should I give all of me, no matter to who? Spreading myself thin I would try and save the block, if that gave me any hope that times like these could stop. I’ve talked the talked and stuttered while walking the walk. It was you however, that made me straighten it up and move to be true. How could I ever not be true to you? You asked me for the way and I gave you all the time I had that day. I never thought the world for you would be so messed up. Couple days later and they smoked the life right out ya. Couldn’t even get the chance to see you make it up out here. Yet, I’m sitting here with all of these memories, while you can’t even chase your dreams. Hoping life isnt really as it seems. Because if it is, I would trade it all in just to see you gleam. With your life gone I just have these tears to stream. See… Nothing was different about you, that I could not relate too. Couple bad decisions the world could have been missing us two and just not one of you. Yet here I stand wondering what it is about you..

I dedicate this poem to Toney Gainey. A former student of mine. A great kid. Just caught up in this thing we call life. I love you forever 5.